Guys, I know, like REALLY KNOW that I am not the only one who thinks marriage is really hard. THE HARDEST THING EVER. Jim and I have been married 13 1/2 years and will celebrate number 14 on November 1, 2017. So when I say I know that marriage is hard, I really really do.
We actually made it through some really rough and trying times back when our now 10 and 12 year olds were babies, and little naive me thought it would be smooth sailing from there…but, fun thing, we ended up adding a new baby to the mix 2 years ago, and all those old issues (well, not all…we have definitely improved) seemed to resurface. They were always there, they just weren’t so prominent and shoved in our faces without a baby to awaken them!
So, it’s been a struggle, we need to work on communicating better, and spending quality time together and as a family. For me, I don’t want to be just ok with “ok” I want something greater, and amazing and wonderful for our family. I don’t want to just muddle through life.
I don’t want to just GET THROUGH this stage with Jack and then go back to complacency. I would hope that this is our opportunity to make some really great improvements!
So, we’ve been taking some baby steps to make our marriage better, and, in honor of Valentine’s Day, (yes, I know, worst holiday ever) I thought I would share them with you.
- Everyday, I make the bed, and while I am making it I pray deeply for our marriage. I find myself tearing up almost every time, because, after 13 years of marriage this is the hardest I have ever prayed for Jim.
- We both share an audible app. I subscribe for $15/month and we purchase a marriage book each month to listen to. He listens to it on his drive to work, and I listen to it while running on the treadmill. Even after one day, I felt a shift in our marriage.
- I am also listening to a book specifically for women called, “A Woman After God’s Own Heart.” and I truly, try to just remember that I am a child of God and my heart should be to serve the Lord. This book may be a little extreme for some of you, but, it’s great to glean from it what you find to apply to your life.
- Something else I have done in the past, is to complete The Husband Project with a group of friends. This is a secret project that encourages you and gives you ideas for one thing a day you can do for your husband. I REALLY love this book and I have done it several times. Every time I do it I notice a huge shift in our marriage.
- Cutting back. I am a chronic Yes Girl. It’s awful. I say “yes” to everything because I hate letting people down. I found myself gone every night of the week doing “good” things, while my family was falling apart. This is probably a topic for an entirely different blog post, but I have decided that I cannot say “yes” if it is not, “HELL, YES.”
I hope that you are able to find a tip that you can incorporate into your own marriage! I know there are so many ideas out there and I really try to keep my ideas simple and practical!
What is something you have found really makes a difference in your marriage?
Do you get tired of constantly dieting and want some real encouragement, inspiration, and focus for your weight loss journey? I cannot even talk enough about what I have been doing for the last month.
The program is called FAST and you can get information about it at Meanestmanindieting.com. I’m on my way to actually achieving my goal and maintaining it for the first time in my life. I am tracking my food, and making really good choices. It’s not rocket science, it’s not a magic pill, but the program is insanely wonderful.
You really just have to go check it out. There’s a money back guarantee if you don’t like it, so what do you have to lose!
When you sign up put my name in under the referrals! That would be awesome!
I have gone from running intervals 3 miles in 50 minutes to 3 miles in 38 minutes. I have lost 10 lbs, and I have MOMENTUM that I refuse to lose! Even on days when I am emotional, or struggling, I remember everything they taught us.
YOU WILL NEVER EVER EVER experience accountability like this ever in your life!
❤ ❤ ❤
I’m having my doubts that we are going to be able to pull this off.
Today was rough. REALLY REALLY horrid.
I feel like Elliott does everything he can to ruin the game so that I will explode and it will end.
LORD, I NEED PRAYERS.
Also, anyone else’s clue pieces look like this?
No? Just me?
Thank goodness for my daughter! When she gets home from school she is all over this game challenge, and she keeps me on track!
If it was up to Elliott, we would never do it. We would play the shortest game possible, or we would just skip it altogether so he could play on the ps4.
Today was fun because we got daddy involved! Have you played Pass The Pen? It is fun! Super fast paced, and we loved it. We made it a little easier for us, and kind of broke all the rules, but I have to say we had fun.
I’m a big fan of the book The Five Love Languages. I try so hard to apply what I have learned from that book to my marriage, but did you know there is a book dedicated to your children? And the workplace?
I first read the book for my children when I started working outside of the home. I could just see my kids falling apart, they were both acting out in ways I hadn’t ever seen! Once I read the book I realized that they were suffering because their primary love language was Quality Time! Once I went back to work the amount of time we spent together was cut drastically.
I’m constantly looking for quick and easy ways the kids and I can spend quality time together without spending a ton of money.
A few things we do:
- Play a quick game
- Cook dinner together
- Make cookies together
- Make sugar scrubs, lip balms, or other oily creations together
- run/walk (it’s REALLY fun to do the C25k trainer app together)
What are some things you do to fit quality time into your day with your kids?
Guys I want to pause from my 90 days of games challenge, and talk for a minute about my #onelittleword2017.
My word for the year is Gratitude. I chose it because on the surface, I am CRAZY grateful for so many things, but when I search my heart, deep down, the things that I REALLY need to be grateful for, I am not.
For instance, My husband. We have been struggling so hard since Jack was born, and I mean, a 2 year rough patch really sucks. I want to show him gratitude, and I truly feel that they more I wake up everyday and outwardly express my gratitude for him the better our marriage will get. Today I woke up and decided that when I make the bed (which is something he really enjoys, and likes having done) I will start to pray for him, and me, and our marriage. “Lord, thank you for my husband. Thank you that he goes to work everyday, always makes sure the fire is going, always makes sure there is wood for me to put in the fire, always makes sure my car is uncovered from snow, goes to church with me, and is incredibly loyal. Thank you.”
Then there is my house. UGH. we have lived here almost 10 years, and I have mumbled and grumbled about it since the minute we even looked at it. THIS IS NOT MY DREAM HOUSE, this is not even a house I would ever ever want for myself. But, it is my home. It’s the only home we could afford that wasn’t 800 sq/ft and it is ours. So I am going to practice being grateful, because I don’t think until I am truly thankful for this house that I will ever have a new house. So, “Lord, I am so thankful that for 10 years we have had a home that is affordable and the right size for our family. I am thankful we have a nice sized yard for the kids to play in and I love the new porch that Jim built me. I am thankful for the wood stove, and that we are close to the school. Lord, help me to have the right attitude about this house.”
So those are my big prayers this year. To be grateful, and everyday wake up with gratitude on my lips. Did you choose a word this year? Are you still focusing on it everyday?
(image courtesy of LTM)
SNOW DAY!!! I mean, FUN, right???
FOR THE MOST PART….
I feel like I should probably have played our game at the beginning of the day before the witching hour when I seem to melt down and I can barely function as a human, let alone play games with kids who cannot seem to get along.
BUT, we managed. We played Rummi-kub today, and it was..HORRIBLE.
You know it’s bad when you say, “If you don’t have a good attitude and enjoy the game we are going to PLAY AGAIN!!!! THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN!”
UGH. For some reason, I feel like this is our hardest game to play, which, makes me think we need to play it more.
Guys, pray for me, I want this to be fun. I want so badly for them to remember this time together as something really special, not, “Remember when mom tried to play games with us but she just yelled at us the entire time.” Yah, I definitely do not want that.